Coming Back To Reality: Spiritual Retreat Integration
Recently, I spent a week at Rythmia: Life Advancement Center in Costa Rica. It was one of the most transformational events of my life. When I got home I experienced a catastrophe. I was filled with spirit and ready to change the world. I had a new perspective on life and greater appreciation for loved ones. It was beautiful and amazing, yet, no one was prepared for this new me. I wanted to talk about it, change things, purge the house of all the stuff I no longer needed, get a new job, and stay connected to all my new Rythmia friends. For those who experienced my inspired self, I seemed manic and “out there.” People were worried about me and didn’t want to be around this “crazy person.” It was interesting for all of those involved.
I have since leveled off and am, indeed, a new version of myself—a more connected, compassionate, and mission-driven me. Because of my initial behavior, I had to apologize to many people, nearly losing a few friends over the re-entry process. In an effort to save others’ from a similar fate, I would like to share eight helpful tips with people who are planning a trip to Rythmia or other transformational retreats. Here are some “things to know before you go.” Perhaps through my awkward behavior, you can learn something and have a more graceful re-entry process.
Integration is an Issue
Integration is a real issue for any type of motivational/spiritual retreat, not just those that are plant-based. A friend just went to a healing ceremony at Trinity Hot Springs in Idaho during the eclipse in August 2017. She described the event as a gathering of like-minded healers, there to celebrate the rising vibration of the eclipse. Through meditation, sound healing, intention, energy and breath work, she was transformed into a new woman, with a higher vibration. She was elevated to a new level of thought and being. She came back “full of spirit.”
If you have been to a motivational workshop of any kind, you know exactly what I am talking about. When she got home, people thought she was crazy. Her boyfriend was so freaked out he hasn’t talked to her since. He completely ended the relationship because of this new person who returned from the spiritual retreat.
High Vibration
When we come back from a high vibrational event, retreat, or motivational workshop, we maintain that high vibration for a time afterward. I am talking about events with thought leaders like Greg Braden, Mike Dooley, Jack Canfield, Kyle Cease and Tony Robbins. I am talking about yoga retreats, spiritual journeys or mission trips to third world countries. These events take us out of our lives and stretch our minds. We tap into our higher selves when we are on these spiritual journeys. It’s inevitable. In fact, it is part of why we go. We want to stay in that high vibration and live life as our bigger selves.
But when we re-enter life and come back to reality, partners, friends and family are often frightened by this new behavior. They are in judgement because they do not understand what we have just gone through. Most people haven’t been around a high vibrating person before and are not comfortable. That is OK. They do not understand, and that is understandable. In my humble opinion, they should feel honored to be in the presence of someone in this elevated state of awareness, this time of vulnerability and openness. My favorite people asked questions relentlessly, to make sure I had not gone over the deep end.
This is a real issue. In fact, a few years back there was a comedy show on TV called Enlightened starring Laura Dern. It’s about a woman who came back from a life changing retreat and struggled to stay in her job and relationship. It is not easy to re-enter our lives once we have a new perspective on life. The fact that there is a TV show about it, confirms that other people in this world have experienced this uncomfortable situation.
As a result of my experience, I have some ideas about how to integrate back into the world after a significant, positive life-changing experience like a spiritual retreat.
Eight (8) tips for integrating back into your life:
- Take Some Alone Time
Give yourself some quiet, alone time. Limit the people you are around for a while until your vibration levels out. Or choose to be around people that are interested and comfortable with this elevated self. I recommend limiting your contact for one to two weeks.
- Consider the Information Sacred
Limit how much you share with others. Unless the person has had a similar experience or is open to the idea of spiritual growth, they are not going to understand and likely not approve of the new you. People do not like change. They are comfortable with the old you, not the new. Over time, they will see that your personal growth is a good thing and does not threaten their life. In fact, it should result in a healthier relationship going forward.
- Take Notes
Write down your thoughts, journal, take notes, or make lists of the things you would like to do or changes you would like to make, but wait some time before taking action. Make plans without taking immediate action, unless you are in danger or in an abusive relationship. (see #5)
- Identify The Take-aways
Write down the new learning, knowing, growth points you have gained from the experience. List the things that you now know that no one can take away from you. So, when people are in judgement, you can stand in a place of confidence, knowing that you have benefited from the situation. Recognize how the experience contributed to your growth and development.
- Take Time to Make Change
Don’t make any hasty decisions about your life, job, or relationship until you have had adequate time to return to your NEW normal, unless you are in danger or an abusive relationship.
Remember, we go on these spiritual/transformational/motivational retreats in order to raise our vibration and make changes in our lives. It is impossible to return to the place you originated from. You now have more information, have released limitations, seen new things, met new people and have a whole new perspective on life. How can you be the same person? The idea is to allow yourself to level off in vibration and find an equilibrium point that combines the old and the new self. It is inevitable that you will reach a balance point that is higher than your original state and less high than when you were at the event or retreat. Once you reach this balance point, you can take inspired action based on your new perspective.
- Celebrate Changes in Behavior
Watch for healthy changes in your behavior. When you notice your new, more positive reaction to something, make sure to smile and acknowledge the change. We need to celebrate our own personal victories. Likely, no one will notice when we react differently to something that originally triggered us. So, it is important that we give ourselves credit for this new healthier behavior.
In the same way, notice the changes in others. At Rythmia, we are there to heal our families/friends/people (our tribe) as well. Watch closely to see if there is any change in behavior among your tribe. When you notice even the slightest shift in behavior, consider that you have had a hand in making that happen and watch what unfolds.
- Live More Mindfully
Identify ways you can inject your new mindfulness into your existing life.
- First, take good care of your new, tender self
- Employ the techniques you learned at the retreat into your daily life by doing breath-work, yoga, healthy eating, etc.
- Connect to the experience through meditation
- Tend to your relationships with understanding and gratitude
- Make decisions based on your values
- Look for ways you can make a difference in your relationship, workplace, school, community
- Speak kindly to and of people
- Don’t Quit Your Job
Quitting your job may be the next right step in your personal development, but it would be best to wait until your vibration settles into the new normal before giving notice.
Also, we need high vibrating, mindful people in the workplace more than ever. If we want to see our world change, we need to change it from within our companies. At present, corporations run our world. If you have seen the movie, Thrive, you have a clear picture of how they control the markets and governments. How can we change this system? We do this by working for the corporations and bringing mindfulness to the workplace. Plant the seeds of change from within. Here are some ways to do that:
- Respect all the people in the supply chain
- Maintain and promote a triple bottom line philosophy, considering the people, planet and profit in strategic planning and decision making
- Respect and celebrate your co-workers
- Keep yourself healthy, happy, and high vibrating while at work, which will raise the vibration of all those around you.
- Incorporate your newly exercised skills of meditation, yoga, and breath work into your work life. A few years back, I was participating in a filming of a reality TV home renovation show. The producer was asked a tough question and took leave to sit quietly for a minute, away from the hustle and bustle of the set, to meditate on the answer. It impacted me greatly at the time because it was so unusual.
The good news is that by going to an event or retreat with the idea of becoming a better person, you significantly help yourself and everyone in your world. By raising your vibration, you raise the vibration of the planet. You shift the people around you just by the very nature of what happens with vibration. We mirror each other in our daily lives. When you have a higher vibration, those around you see, reflected back to them, a better version of themselves.
Coming back to reality is not easy or comfortable. There is a grieving process we go through as we are leaving our retreat where we are surrounded by like-minded people who are there for our greater good and personal growth. Take care of yourself and take time to adjust. Ask family and friends to be patient with you as you level off. Encourage them to ask questions about your experience. You are a new version of yourself. Celebrate and watch how your life unfolds.
If you find these eight (8) tips for reintegrating back into life helpful, please report back. If you have something to add, send it to me in the comments below.
