8 Secrets to Enjoying Life

What is the secret to an enjoyable life? Many ancient and modern philosophers have grappled with this question. Each of us ponders it regularly. Considering that self-help in America is a $1 billion industry, it’s not difficult to come to the conclusion that the majority of us want to enjoy more from life and experience greater fulfillment.

Your enjoyable life probably is going to be far different from what anyone else decides is her enjoyable life. But that doesn’t mean that folks who have studied this challenge haven’t come up with a few guidelines that – while probably different in the specifics – are remarkably similar in the generalities.

Here are eight “secrets” – things you can do – that we believe will lead to an enjoyable life.

1. Appreciate the simple things.

A really good potluck with friends. Mastering a yoga pose that has given you fits. Kisses from your child or grandchild. A beautiful sunset. Sleeping in your own bed after a trip. Taking a moment to stop and actually watch and/or savor the simple things is a great way to remember how wonderful life truly can be, down to the simplest moment.

2. Practice gratitude.

Take a moment each day, either in the morning or just before bed, to write down three things for which you are grateful. They needn’t be big things; even being grateful for simple things (peanut butter, your cat purring on your lap, your monthly pedicure, for example) is neurologically proven to make us happier and healthier. I actually keep a gratitude jar throughout the year and regularly add to it things I’m thankful for.

3. Learn something new.

If you’ve always wanted to take up tap dancing, cycling, yoga, the piano, etc., do so. Not only will you have more fun in life, you’ll also help keep your brain young: learning new things has been proven to sharpen our brains and help us psychologically (especially if the new thing involves social interaction). But the new thing has to be mentally challenging. You don’t need to perfect your golf game; you need to learn something new, such as ballroom dancing.

4. Make it a goal to talk to two or three people you don’t know every day.

Humans are social creatures: we need one another in order to be happy, secure and….enjoy life. By speaking to a few strangers every day, we do several things:

• Strengthen our ability to get out of the proverbial comfort zone (this would be especially if we are shy).
• Make new, close friends.
• Learn something we didn’t know, even if it’s just a better way to get to where we want to go.

5. Say “yes” to things you normally say “no” to.

We don’t mean you’re going to agree to everything. But when someone asks you to dinner, to a party, to a meeting, to watch a game, to speak before a crowd, to learn to juggle, to plant a garden, if you’re go-to answer usually is “no”, say “yes” instead.

You’ll have more adventures, learn new things, see things you’ve never before seen, meet new people, all because you decided to say “yes.”

6. Stop worrying about what other people think of you.

Actually, what others think of you is really none of your business – it’s theirs. In addition, you can never really tell what anyone is thinking of you at any time. Take, for example, your desire to start taking a yoga class. You’re worried you’re too fat, that people will be thinking “Wow, she’s too fat to be wearing yoga pants.” But you can’t know. They could be saying, “Wow, I admire her courage.” “She’s so flexible; I wish I was.” “That top fits her well; I wonder where she got it?”

What’s more, if someone is judging you negatively, she’s not your friend, nor would you want her to be.

Remember Dr. Seuss: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

7. Disconnect completely at least once a week.

That means no screen time. At all! If you need to check your phone for texts, do so only when someone texts you. If possible, turn the texting off. If someone REALLY needs to get a hold of you, they will call; most things can wait a day.

Researchers have found that looking at social media makes us compare our lives to the lives of our friends posting pictures of their fabulous vacations, children graduating with honors, the perfect marriage proposal, and on and on. But taking a break from social media, the Internet, taking selfies, etc. allows us to take a step back and refocus on the good that is in our lives. Unplugging for at least one day a week makes us happier!

8. Remember that this too shall pass.

Let us quote Mike Dooley:

“Contrary to appearances, in the grandest scheme of things, nothing is ever lost, no one becomes less, and setbacks are always temporary. And you’d understand that no matter what has happened, everyone lives again, everyone laughs again, and everyone loves again, even more richly than before.”